All is well in Searledom. We just returned a couple weeks ago from a trip to Walt Disney World where I had a turf industry conference. Good times were had by all. I was surprised at how busy it was during one of their slower weeks of the year. The kids enjoyed it and we wore ourselves out. We continue to deal with the aftermath of Adam's accident that happened on the Friday before we left. A lady backing out of her driveway two houses down from ours hit Adam as he and Zach were on their way to school. She had a car obstructing her view in her driveway as well as a palm tree behind it and I thought it was pretty clear cut that Adam had the right of way but apparently if you're a police officer in Manteca California it's easier to blame the sixteen year old that he had sun in his eyes and didn't stop when she backed out. It makes no sense, so we'll likely end up in some legal battle in small claims court over who was at fault. Yippee Joy Hooray! When I was younger I had dreams of being an attorney, so I guess this is my opportunity to try it out.
On the farm we're getting ready to do our spring planting. We're just starting to work the ground after the rain from last week. We're hoping and praying we still get more rain this spring, but it looks like we have a couple week window of sunny weather that will let us get our planting done.
Thank you for the positive response to my last post. We are appreciative of those offering their love and support. I know for many of our friends and family it's new territory, unfamiliar, maybe unsure of what to do or say. We understand this and are just thankful for those offering their love in whatever manner they feel comfortable. I think for many, they've never considered what it means to be LGBT and the impact it has if you're LDS. Many don't know any LGBT individuals or if they do, not very well and haven't spent much time getting to know them in a deep and personal manner. I spoke with a couple Mormon ecclesiastical leaders that said such things as, 'That kind of sex isn't approved by the brethren and never will be. It's contrary to the plan. What's the big deal if he has to remain celibate? There are others that have to deal with being quadriplegic or other afflictions and can't marry or can't have sex. I knew of someone that was into bestiality and should that be ok? It's just a tendency/choice that has to be overcome. If I'm born a serial killer does that make it ok to go and kill people because I was born that way? How does he know when he's so young? Don't most find out when they're older?'
I'll share a few of my thoughts about these statements/questions/arguments.
- It's not all about just the act that you picture in your mind when you think about LGBT people anymore than it's about the act for straight people. These are human beings that have the same wants, desires, dreams, hopes as you do in a relationship. They no more desire to be alone in this world than you do. They no more chose to be gay than you chose to be straight. Consider that these are children of God, not perversions or people obsessed with what you are obsessed with in making it about sex. Their desire is to have a loving relationship with another human being that gives them the fulfillment in life that you enjoy.
- Being LGBT isn't a debilitating disease or an affliction and shouldn't be treated as such. The comparison should be more that if you have a child that's born down syndrome or quadriplegic and you tell them to stop being that way. To live like you don't have it. There's no reason in my mind that a loving Heavenly Father would ask LGBT brothers/sisters to live a less fulfilling life based on a choice they didn't make, especially when they are fully capable of living a fulfilling life with someone they love. Being celibate is no big deal, until you're the one asked to live that way. When you already have a life that fits the mold of the model Mormon family it's hard to have empathy and easy to preach it's your burden so just overcome.
- I don't know how bestiality even is a comparison, and he did preface it by saying this is probably a bad example. I told him yes, that's a terrible example. These are children of God wanting to live a fulfilling life with another human being, just like you.
- Obviously they hadn't seen the LDS website mormonsandgays.org acknowledging this isn't a choice. It's how they were born. Does being born a serial killer make it ok for you to go kill people? That's up to you. I wouldn't advise it, but you can try it out and see. But come on, that's not what this is about. It's about people wanting to love one another, not about people trying to harm others. Their desire and ability to love another has zero impact on you, your marriage, or your religion.
- I knew in elementary school I liked the ladies. We played some game in a sand pit that I remember where a girl was queen and I always wanted to be the king or knight or whatever it was that got me to be close to the queen that I thought was cute. And those feelings/tendencies/choices (whatever you want to term it to best understand) only intensified going into junior high/high school/college. Just like I knew and I believe most knew at a young age, so does Zach and other LGBT youth. I think it's more accepted to be open about it now, so less are waiting so long to live authentically. For more on this I would encourage people to look at the family acceptance project and download their booklet that gives such good information about this and how we can help our LGBT youth. http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/supportivefamiliesbooklet
Take care and until next time!